Archive for November, 2009

Gripes about being a space alien

November 26, 2009

I have a number of gripes about being a Purple space alien living on planet Earth.

First, medical care is a huge challenge on Planet Earth.  Try to find tentacle lotion in your local pharmacy.  You won’t find any.  And if you ask the pharmacist, they will probably say they don’t have it or direct you to the jock itch creams and powders.  So Purplings have to make do with whatever they can find.  And if you have a problem with your tentacles, don’t ask around for a referral.  Nine out of ten times, they will try to send you to see a urologist, and you have to tell them you said tentacles, and not testicles.  We often have to ship Purplings back to Purplonia for medical care since there are very few deep space medicine specialists here on Earth.

Then we have to put up with all the pointing and stares, as well as blatant bigotry.  I have to constantly say, “What you looking at?  Haven’t you ever seen a Purple person before?”  If it was just the pointing, staring, and comments, I wouldn’t complain.  Housing and employment discrimination are among the problems.  “Why won’t you hire me?  Is it because I’m Purple?”

And then we meet brave people who think they have a right to just come up to us and touch us, and mess with our tentacles.  We have so many tentacles that a lot of the Purple women and girls braid them.  Even some of our male Grape stars in the music industry braid their tentacles because they believe it gives them a hard edge.  And a lot of the Earthlings try to critique how we style our tentacles, and they don’t even have any.

There are also the impacts of American culture on the Purple-American family.  The break-down of the Purple-American families turns our little Violets violent.  So go to our neighborhoods, and you will see purple alien slime on the walls of businesses, on vehicles, and on bridges and water towers.  Some of it is artistic, some is profanity, and much of the rest is gang-related.  And our youth are sliming each other in the streets like they had no upbringing.

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Lets have fun

November 24, 2009

Maybe someone has some jokes they want to share.  Of course, here is the most well-known purple joke.

Here, in this word game on Topix, I asked about a nonexistent planet.  On the next page, they talked about kidnapping me.  They wanted to borrow one of my antennae, and if they couldn’t do that, they would take me with them.

And here are some of my hangouts:

Purple forum

Purple gurl!!!!

Purple is such a bigot that…

Purple Girl has plum too many kids

Purple Gurl’s Paradise

Purple-Americans Only